Top 10 Jokes

You Need A Mechanic...Top 10

Indications you may need a mechanic...

  • 10. Your friends always volunteer to drive.
  • 9. Your spouse has pet names for your truck, like Beast or The Thing.
  • 8. Your engine makes so much noise that they can't hear you at the teller window.
  • 7. You've been pulled over 6 times for weaving down the road and you don't drink.
  • 6. You avoid car pooling because all the warning lights on your dash board are on All The Time.
  • 5. Your car smokes so bad that your neighbors never have a problem with mosquitoes.
  • 4. Your spouse has guaranteed you that the neighbor will have your car running by the next Holiday.
  • 3. You are not allowed to park near your Mother-in-Laws house because of the oil leak you've had for three years.
  • 2. An unwanted poster of you sitting in your clinker is hanging in every McDonalds drive thru window with a caption that reads..... NO Service.

    The #1 Indication you may need a Mechanic...

    1. You said a prayer before you drove to E-Check

Top Ten Butt Kicking Sayings

The Top 10 Sayings that will get your butt kicked by a mechanic

  • 10. Can you come over to my house and fix my car?
  • 9. The tow truck driver said this car is easy to work on.
  • 8. Can you take the parts off my other car and put them on this one?
  • 7. I know the tires are bald and it has no brakes but I want to stereo fixed.
  • 6. Can you get it done sooner; I'm leaving on vacation to Florida tomorrow...
  • 5. My neighbor and I took this part off on my car so I won't have to pay to have it done the next time.
  • 4. Can I watch you put the parts on my car so I won't have to pay to have it done the next time.
  • 3. On the internet it says you don't have to replace the part, you can just spray it with something like PAM.
  • 2. The drivers door is broken, so you'll have to get in from the passenger side and scoot across the console to drive it.

    The #1 Indication you may need a Mechanic...

    1. My Brother-in-Law used to be a mechanic and he says...

The Top 10 You May Have a Clunker

  • 10. Your mother asks that you do not park in front of her house.
  • 9. The residents of the local group home call your car the Beastly Thing.
  • 8. You classify each of your tires as Bald, Balder, Balding and Baldest.
  • 7. The Bungee Cords keeping your doors closed are frayed and need replaced again.
  • 6. The Police have suggested that you wear a helmet when driving on the expressway.
  • 5. There are only 2 kinds of parts on your car, parts held on by coat hangers and parts held on by duct tape.
  • 4. Your neighbors took up a collection to quiet your car by purchasing you a pre-paid debit card for the local muffler shop.
  • 3. You must warm the engine for an hour before you drive it anywhere. because of what you call temperamental behavior.
  • 2. The clerk that must follow you out of the grocery store with a bag of cat litter to soak up the oil leak call you Exxon Valdez.

    The #1 Indication you may Drive a Clunker...

    1. Those huge anti-government signs mounted on the roof of your car look better than the car itself.

The Top 10 Indications you are NOT Mechanically Inclined

  • 10. In high school chemistry you were never allowed to light the Bunsen burner because of that little building evacuation incident.
  • 9. Your Mommy used to cut up all your food so you wouldn't have to use a knife and now your spouse does it for you...
  • 8. Your daddy spent 14 years teaching you that the hot water is on the left side, No, No, No - Your other Left!
  • 7. You had your driver's license before you figured out that the garage door opener also closes the garage door.
  • 6. You finally discovered that a table saw and an electric knife are two completely different things.
  • 5. Your spouse thinks you did a fantastic job installing that complicated shower curtain.
  • 4. The 9 year old neighbor kid has to help you put batteries in your Christmas presents.
  • 3. It took you all afternoon to figure out how to fold up four TV trays.
  • 2. Your tennis instructor forces you to wear Velcro strapped shoes.

    The #1 Indication you are NOT Mechanically Inclined...

    1. You had to read the instructions to use a Mouse Pad...

Courtesy of Larry Walters @ MOTORTECH Auto Service Center 330.923.7867

Website by HTMLFOX